I have invited a number of authors, leaders and coaches who have reviewed my recently released book, A Love Story, to contribute their thoughts and ideas, and particularly those prompted by their reading of this book. Over several weeks they will share their insights and wisdom about the importance of building deep and loving relationships. This is the third in the series and the author is Megan Hoernke, coach, creator of CuriousMegan and a Certified Higher Ground Leadership® Pathfinder. In all of her endeavors, Megan Hoernke serves to create loving connections and strives to interrupt the status quo with an invitation to engage with curiosity. You may learn more at curiousmegan.com. Her guest blog appears below:
Have you ever wondered how you might improve any and all relationships in your life? May I suggest letting curiosity take the lead?
When you lead with curiosity, you are choosing to let go of judgment, to engage your wonder and to be in the moment with your thoughts.
Why is that important?
Let’s begin with judgment. It serves as a preemptive force in our life’s experiences. When judgment takes the lead, your potential to engage authentically is greatly impaired. In effect, you alter, and often reduce, your learning, perspective and growth when judgment runs ahead of your thoughts. Letting go of judgment allows freedom for exploration.
Engaging with your own sense of wonder serves to increase the number of possibilities in your life. And, there are an endless number of sources supporting the value of living your life in the present moment. Quite simply, the present moment is the only space from which you may engage fully with your life.
Where has my curiosity taken me? Well, I remember years ago when my children were in nursery school and a member had returned to town because of her diagnosis with breast cancer. I was curious to know more about her – she had a beautiful, infectious spirit that bore a sharp contrast to her chemo-caused baldhead. How could the two exist at the same time, I wondered? Letting my curiosity take the lead I struck up a friendship with her. I am eternally grateful that I heeded my curiosity for it launched me into one of the most profound friendships I had ever experienced.
As a mother, I was thrilled to witness how my young children explored their own world – with an unbridled curiosity. In a way, it served as permission for me to do the same. Allowing curiosity to take the lead, they have each developed into extraordinarily interesting young adults. They have been, and continue to be, incredible teachers in my life.
A few years ago, I was lucky enough to participate in a unique tele-class led by the author of this site, Lance Secretan. Listening to him speak piqued my curiosity greatly. Who was this man? How was it that he was able to enter boardrooms and speak of soul, love and truth-telling? I needed to know more. And so, I heeded my curiosity and began to learn more from him. I attended a Higher Ground Leadership® Pathfinder Certification course held at Lance’s lovely home in Ontario. In addition to learning from and with him in person, I also had the privilege of meeting his wife, Tricia, during the three-day session. It was very telling to be in the presence of this couple. They seemed to be so in tune. What lay beneath that connection? How was it that they radiated such joy? How did they maintain it? The questions swirled in my head and I wondered how I might learn from this example of a loving relationship and apply it to my own. I enjoyed the new-found friendship I had formed with both of them and was grateful that my curiosity had created this opportunity.
I truly believe that when you allow curiosity to take the lead, every relationship will be strengthened with your intention. I invite you to try it for yourself. As an experiment, try starting conversations with ‘I wonder’ and see how it affects everything in your life.
Show up curious in your relationships and watch what happens.