This book describes how we have come to think in compartmentalized, atomized ways (which I will call atomism or separateness), and how we can once again think holistically (which I will call holism or oneness), and therefore find real meaning in leadership and in life.

The New Oxford Dictionary of English defines holism as—

The theory that parts of the whole are in intimate connection, such that they cannot exist independently of the whole, or cannot be understood without reference to the whole, which is thus regarded as greater than the sum of its parts.

It defines its opposite, atomism, as—

A theoretical approach that regards something as interpretable through analysis into distinct, separable, and independent elementary components.

In Part One of this book, The Art of Oneness, we explore the emergence of a renewed and powerful desire for oneness in our generation. I will show how advances in technology and communications are a major impetus of this desire, and that the desire goes even deeper: it is a longing to regain the myth, mystery, and magic of a oneness we experienced before the dawn of separateness created by the ideas introduced in philosophy and science. This appreciation of our oneness is what each of us is yearning to find in our leaders, and by which, deep inside, each of us aspires to be guided as we lead.

Part Two, The Practice of Oneness, explores how we can reclaim our innate sense of oneness by delving deeply into, and living, each of the CASTLE Principles: Courage, Authenticity, Service, Truthfulness, Love, and Effectiveness, thus enabling us to see the sacred connections between everyone and everything—the oneness of people and things.

Every great manifesto, like a pearl in an oyster, is a beautiful article that was initiated by an irritation. The U.S. Declaration of Independence, Britain’s Magna Carta, Czechoslovakia’s Charter 77, and the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms all came about in response to the increasing pain of separation and a corresponding yearning for oneness. They are descriptions of the problems encountered, written in reverse, often in prose that inspires. This process of retracing our steps to a higher ideal is also how the CASTLE Principles were birthed.

Like all fundamental concepts, these are simple ideas that are well known to most of us. The new part is shifting from talking about them to doing them—to deeply living these principles ourselves, rather than telling others to do so. For when fully lived, these life-attitudes are profoundly transformative and inspiring to ourselves and others.

There is nothing new to learn here, no great theory, breakthrough, or equation, because these are concepts that are within us already. At some stage in our lives, they were fully lived, typically earlier in our life journey. Now, however, they may have become lost, and we yearn to reclaim them. Consider the CASTLE principle of Courage, for example. When we had fewer stakes in the game of life —no mortgage or car payments, no executive position to hold on to—we were naturally more courageous. Speaking our truth, and acting in accordance with it, was easy. As the years passed and we accumulated possessions and responsibilities, we inversely became more cynical, frightened, and drained of the power and passion from which our courage was drawn.

The aim of this book, therefore, is to inspire you to recall when you were at your personal best and to live at this peak again. Through living the CASTLE Principles, we will inspire each other and see the world not as separate, unconnected parts, but as one.

I did not discover these concepts. They discovered me. I asked people what they felt were the characteristics of ineffective relationships, whether at home or at work, in politics, religion, academia, or our marriages, or among our families and friends. My research showed that people were typically turned off by others who were not courageous, authentic, serving, truthful, loving, and effective. It made no difference whether they were CEOs, stay-at-home moms, or athletes—or whether they came from different countries and cultures. In fact, my colleagues and I have found that there is very little difference in what constitutes meaning and fulfillment at work for people, regardless of their demographic or cultural origins. This is corroborated in a 2005 survey by Sirota Survey Intelligence based in Purchase, New York, which reports: “More than half of human resource professionals surveyed erroneously believe there are major differences between what people of different generations, cultures, and countries expect from their jobs. There are three basic goals that the vast majority of employees want from their work, regardless of their ages, cultures, or geographies.” These are:

• Achievement, or pride in one’s work—being one with what we do;
• Camaraderie, or positive and productive relationships with one’s co-workers—being one with others; and,
• Equity, or being treated fairly in matters such as pay, benefits, and job security—making the work effort one with the reward received.

This data is based on surveys of about 3.5 million employees at hundreds of organizations in all sectors. Jeffrey Saltzman, chief executive officer of Sirota, says, “While a kernel of truth may exist to some manager beliefs about generational and cultural differences outside of the work environment, managers who are guided by these differences within the working environment are, in fact, operating under a myth. For example, if managers expect people from Generation X to be very different, then they may create policies based on their expectations, rather than the reality of what people want from work. Not only is this a waste of time and resources, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy—a vicious circle.”

The reality is that we are one, and our attempts to separate people by classifying them and “slicing and dicing” data about them can lead us to obsolete separateness-thinking, which is counterproductive.

Thus, it was a short intellectual leap towards the observation that living the opposite of the limiting deficiencies—lack of courage, inauthenticity, failure to serve, truthlessness, lovelessness, and ineffectiveness— would reveal the proficiencies that would make all the difference. This is how the CASTLE Principles were born.

In explaining these principles, I am proposing that we reframe our view of leadership—not just in the context of work, but in the larger context of life. Why do I use this formulation, rather than the more usual distinction between “work and life”? Because “work and life” is a limiting, fragmenting mindset based on separateness. It assumes a separation of work and life, and of course, there are not two things to separate—there is only one thing—it’s called life, of which work is just a part. The endless search to balance these two is thus a hopeless one, because modern communications, the global nature of the workplace, the changing nature of what we call “work,” and the adaptations of culture accentuate the obvious: that “balance” is irrelevant. Such attitudes emphasize our tendency to practice separateness thinking. Life can be perceived as one again when we seek to be inspiring, conscious leaders living fully integrated lives. And we are all leaders from our first breath— who can ignore the demands of an insistent baby? The challenge, then, is not how we can balance work and life, but how we can lead integrated lives through the realization that all the parts are really one.

This book was written for leaders in every aspect of life’s spectrum— managers, consultants, executives, CEOs, organizationaldevelopment and human-resource professionals, workshop and seminar leaders, supervisors, parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, clergy, public servants, not-for-profit professionals, therapists—in fact, all of us who are dedicated to serving, leading, and guiding others—helping them, as well as ourselves, to achieve greater worth and meaning in life.

I have included many luminous stories about people and organizations that have successfully learned how to appreciate the oneness of life and are doing so by living the CASTLE Principles. In many ways, this is a “how to” book, but it might be just as helpful to describe it as a collection of the stories of remarkable people practicing ideas and theories that truly work.