Truthfulness
When Mary Cusack was invited to start up a $50-million packaging plant for Procter & Gamble’s Light Duty Liquids (Dawn, Joy, Ivory brands), she realized that the project was riddled with distrust and dishonesty. Working with HR manager Don White, she initiated a truth-telling process inspired by Brad Blanton (author of Radical Honesty) and Will Schutz (author of The Human Element).
"We got people to look each other in the eye, share their appreciation, state their resentments, get over them and move on," Cusack reports. She was personally able to share "all the information and opinions that I based my decisions on. I became vulnerable in front of my people. As a woman in a manufacturing plant, I wasn’t supposed to show emotions. But it worked to my advantage."
A dramatic improvement in decision-making speed and productivity resulted from this courageous truth-telling. Although it usually takes 18 to 24 months to build a plant, Cusack did the job in six months and developed new bottle designs in this time, too.
"We saved 12 to 18 months," she says. "That’s $10 million."
We have it backwards: we think that telling the truth in organizations and the rest of our lives will cost money and get us into trouble. The opposite is true.
January 13th, 2006 at 11:19 am
Excellent entry today!
I want to share a story of personal truthfulness that actually happened this morning. I am in the midst of creating a logo for new company. My roughs keep coming back with more and more changes requested by the clients. I found myself irritated that my ” creation” was not good enough for them. Once I admitted to myself ( the truth) that I was angry and that this anger was about MY connection to MY ego, I was able to see past my anger and see that the clients simply want something which resonates with them. I made the adjustemnets and everyone – especially me is happy!
Admitting, acknowledging and integrating feelings is an act of truth telling on all levels.
Dave
January 13th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
I’m struggling with this one – wondering how to create the atmosphere of trust that enables truthfulness. I guess it’s that survival instinct kicking in again – ‘what will happen if I say what I really think’. I know there is one client that I work for whom I would not give feedback to – is my silence cowardice or common sense. They say ‘the truth can hurt’ so, again, is my silence cowardice or compassion. Not so easy.
Namaste
Peter
January 13th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
As to Peter’s point, this is so tricky in practice. Some years ago, I told my boss that there were internal issues that were severely hindering collaboration and communication between departments and that I had some ideas to address them. What I was saying was the truth but her truth was that she liked it that way. I was subsequestly punished in several ways for speaking up. I now believe that when our integrity is tested in such a way, we have two choices to make; we can stay silent, consciously acknowledging our fear and choice to compromise, as well as our reasons for doing so. With this awareness in hand, we can hopefully forgive ourselves for it. The other choice is to challenge ourselves to see such a situation as utterly unacceptable, and trust that if we opt out, something more honouring of our integrity will take its place.
January 13th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
Dave, congratulations on your own self awareness. Bravo!
Peter and Christine, I hear the challenges you speak of, and have experienced many of the same myself. I’ve been fortunate to have attended one of Lance’s life-changing retreats and to have studied closely with him for the past two years. The CASTLE principles have been a guiding light in my life, which I turn to many times a day. Courage and Truth go hand in hand, as it takes a lot of courage to be truthful, especially when a job, client, money, or a very special relationship is on the line.
I can share my own experience with you. I believe that truth is loving (even when it hurts), and truth is simple (even when the situation is complicated). At first, it felt more scary to tell the truth than not to. However, as I work my courage and truth muscles, I find it is much harder to live a lie, to be out of alignment and integrity, than it is to be truthful. Because while it may be possible to fool others, it is impossible to fool yourself, once you are aware of and acknowledge your own truths. When you get to that point, the fear of reprimand or losing a client or job is less than the pain of keeping that truth contained inside of you and putting up with less than you are worth and need. As I have claimed my own truthfulness, my world has opened up exponentially and I have been richly rewarded. Telling the truth either forces everyone to come together and problem solve or to make a break. Even though breaks are painful, the energy and space it clears creates the room for the divine to enter. Although I have been challenged greatly, I have not yet been disappointed.
As for creating an environment for truthtelling, pgs. 66-67 in Lance’s Reclaiming Higher Ground are great starters. Best to you all,
In spirit,
Michelle
January 13th, 2006 at 9:25 pm
Dear Lance,
25 years ago I made a decision “to go with the crowd”, although I disagreed. I disappointed myself in that. Within the past few months I was faced with a similar situation, but stayed firm with my conviction (in isolation). Have I learned? Hopefully, yes. Am I glad to be reminded? Most definitely. Again, Lance, thank you for this timely connection, and for the spiritual messages you live, deliver and are.
Dorothy
January 13th, 2006 at 9:57 pm
To me trading “safety” for one’s integrity is an absolute losing proposition–and I still do it. Two of our basic human needs (physiological needs–life sustenance–and safety needs) are strong drivers of behavior and make it easy to think that telling the truth will put us in mortal peril (as truth-telling has sometimes done in the world). In my life experience, however, most of my fears of truth telling were based on psychological pain–disapproval of others, misunderstanding, lowered self-esteem (for admiting to things I didn’t think I should have done, said, thought, etc.). So while we might avoid some transitory pain by lying, we dis-integrate our Self and begin to lose our authenticity. Spiritually speaking, it seems that this loss of wholeness is a far greater pain and loss than physical death which we have more fear of.
Bravo for all of us budding truth-tellers. May we gain courage from each other as we dare to be truthful in our lives. Thanks for sharing folks. I’m closing this day feeling very inspired! Peace.
January 14th, 2006 at 3:29 am
Yesterday while briskly walking through a very crowded Grand Central Terminal to a Orthopedic MD appointment, a person deliberately from behind tripped my foot sending me to take a dive to the marble floor. I was amazed and shocked how the instigator disappeared, and even quicker how 3 other truthful, compassionate, humans stopped to protect, help gather my strewn belongings and make sure I was ok, lifting me from the floor between 20 other movers. I was grateful to have not been trampled, robbed or worse be left on the floor as a puddle.
What makes us think in such a way? Are there people who get comfort hurting another – and other angels who rescue and help? The concern isn’t about me and not to put blame on whomever. The Truth Beings showed up.
When at the MD he was an emotionless person concerned about my body before it hit the floor from another falling injury in a closing elevator. It was like pulling teeth to get attention from the 3 year relationship, a sling, then a perscription for an xray and call for appointment. Finding there was a fracture, a message was left that the DR would set it next Wed when he returned..Not acceptable!
Non Truth was in my face later finding out the MD was taking a holiday to the Bahamas (HE OBVIOUSLY WAS THERE in his mind already). TELLING THE TRUTH OF A VACTIONING MD expecting me to wait for 7 days to others and 12 calls later to find a new MD after all no’s was disconcerning then one gate keeper recognized truth/pain said I’ll squeeze you in between surgeries of the DR. Compassion showed up again and another with one last DR call the secretary realized hearing TRUTH showed concern said: show up after gathering the xray and a referral from my primary MD was ease. The syncronicity to gather the info and get the entry cards meeting the new DR in his office definitely helping and giving me the utmost attention and care for my comfort a Master of his 39 yrs.experience. All In the office recognized TRUTH and loving their work to heal, eminated in this office in attraction, truth, love and ease.
They worked as one and the universe = with truth expediting attraction and synchrinocity of movements occured.
Namaste
January 14th, 2006 at 12:37 pm
Bless you Shonnie — and everyone who took a stand and shared your experiences. Telling the truth when it is scary is very confronting and most of us have been exposed to less than honest business and/or personal relationships- where the “world” gives us many reasons to hide our truth. It is easier to lie and hide than it is to risk the imagined or real pain that we must face courageously to stand on what feels like an emotional firing line when an individual or group of people point their fingers at you with looks of disapproval, judgment, criticism, gossip, or any number of other opinions and feels that are justified or not. What I know about being on both sides of that scenario is this; separation from the heart of anyone in our lives causes pain and suffering that could be healed if truths were shared. Knowing the truth, as the great Master Jesus said… will set us free. It will set us free if we are willing to stand in the fear of being fired upon or reacted to. Fear causes our ego to justify hiding behind the illusion of safety. Hiding the truth is a very dangerous proposition and we cannot afford the costs we all pay for such deceit. No one is left untouched. We would have to be blind and ignorant to not see the evidence of how lies and deceit have compromised the earth that feeds us, our relationships, our health, our well being as a nation, our environment on every level….not to mention our personal integrity. Truth is a challenging responsibility no doubt, but the alternative is not acceptable for the collective soul of all nations and all people on our planet. Thank you Lance, for creating the space for us to take a stand for truthfulness as One. It certainly is an idea whose time has clearly come. Namaste… and blessings to one and all, you are the light of the world.
Barb Walley
January 15th, 2006 at 9:33 pm
For Peter: You ask the question, “What will happen if I say what I really think?”. Well, perhaps the answer is that you will feel “clean”, authentic, whole and one with yourself and what you really believe in – the message of “ONE: The Art and Practice of Conscious Leadership”. You might also ask, “What will happen if I DON’T say what i really think?” Perhaps the answer might be the opposite: you will feel “unclean”, inauthentic, separated from yourself and what you really believe in. How do you want to live your life?
January 16th, 2006 at 12:29 am
I don’t think there’s any other way to live. If we can’t honour all of the truths in our lives how can we possible honour them in anyone else’s?
For me, truth and trust is one. It’s hard to trust if you don’t believe and vice versa.
As a business owner, I see and feel clients struggling with trying to be truthful because they feel that if they allow themselves to share and be slightly vulnernable and perhaps even let their guard down that they will be exploited. In fact, when the truth is spoken it appears that no one believes it anyway because it seems “un-real!” Ironic truth?
Thank-you Lance for defining this so well.
Namaste
January 16th, 2006 at 7:35 am
Courage and truth – hard to have one without the other. I hold these principles dear and yet like any fragile human being I have disappointed myself profoundly when I have allowed the conjunction of my fear (of survival being threatened) and my desire (for something which I believe ‘another’ will deny me) to take over – and I have found myself withholding the truth. This pattern has repeated itself through my life – the last time four years ago in relation to my partner of 9 years. What started out as loving choice to let go of each other turned into a muddy, hurtful wrenching apart (which we are still working through; achingly slowly recovering from) accompanied by my loss of respect for myself which has taken some time to regain.
And recently, the same configuration appeared in my life again – this time in my work – and this time, determined to take charge of the fear, supported by my Destiny – Cause – Calling; supported by my innner processing to discern the lies my mind was telling me which fuelled the fear; supported by preparing my body to reach a place of calm (swimming); supported by my connecting to my inner spirit – I stepped through the fear and made a different stand ……. and the joy, abundance and humble pride in myself at doing it differently this time has brought me to such a place of joy and gratitude and celebration. I told the truth about my purpose; I told the truth about the situation; I told the truth about how I wanted everyone to win and the space opened up for that to be so. I feel so blessed and know at the deepest level that truthtelling underpinned by a loving, honourable, purpose/ intention will bring rewards beyond any measure or expectation. In the end truthtelling underpinned in this way conveys to others our trustworthiness and it is that and that alone which creates the trusting environment
namaste
January 16th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
My mentor coach once remarked that, “People resent others because others can’t guess the requests they dare not make”. In my experience, there is more “friction loss” in organizations from the inability to make clear requests than from any other factor. Why is it so hard for us to make clear requests? Is it because we have become sloppy about speaking truthfully? It’s not so much some conscious effort to deceive, but rather shading meanings here and there, taking the real feelings out of our words, and leaving ourselves a rear exit.
Thank you, Lance, for your observations about modelling truthfulness and the untapped energy that is liberated when we do.
namaste
January 19th, 2006 at 5:16 am
Wasn’t it already written in the Bible: And the truth shall set you free???
Well, here we’ve got it?? shalom.